And it comes to a end….NOT!

Fours weeks have just come and gone and I can say I’ve had a blast with my practicum. I’ve learned to be a better producer and more about the industry I’m just steps from jumping into. I realize that I DO have the skills to get into industry and do something awesome. I need to put myself first and take care of myself in industry even with I’m having a blast producing. I’m going to miss getting to make stuff that goes live to so many different markets. Guess that means I need to work my butt off and get a job 🙂 I do know this, I’m definitely going to make sure I stay in touch with Rob and send him any new demos I come up with.

Week 4 Day 16, March 29, 2021

I did a morning editing on the metallic spots I did at end of last week. Eq fixing and dropping a compressor was needed. Later I will get to learn to do better ending on music beds.

I got to be a fly on the wall during production meeting. Meeting everyone was really cool and now I’ve got a ton of folks I can network with in the future.

It was funny when everyone got talking about what speakers have. The really funny thing for me was realizing that when they were talking about a monitor they meant their speakers. Another take away I need to get a really big coffee cup because almost every signal person had one.

Today I got two new spots due later this week and I got to coach Rob as he voiced one for me. I was given a look into how voicing is happening right now in industry due to pandemic protocols. And that’s its had kind of a negative effect since producers can’t always coach how they want to, to pull out great reads from announcers. Something that according to Rob, Graham does very well. It’s been a busy day.

Week 4 Day 17, March 30, 2021

Just finishing off commercial spots then onto JUT80s for the last time.

I got to go on a popping p fit binge and the use of the FFT effect over dropping down the p so can still hear the pah but not thump of the beat. A very useful tool for the future. Of course we shortcut keyed it to my keyboard which makes things 100x easier.

Week 4 Day 18, March 31, 2021

More work on JUT80s. I really have to batten down on it since there’s no Friday this week because of Good Friday. And that means that Thursday is my last day 😥

Got through most of JUT80s today. Tomorrow I’ll finish the last day and then its onto music promos with Rob. That will be fun. I can’t believe four weeks have gone by so fast.

Week 4 Day 19, April 1, 2021

THE FINAL DAY

NOOOOOOoooooooo!!! I don’t want it to end.

I pushed myself and got the last one of JUT80s done. The afternoon was full of getting to see how Rob makes music promos and getting to put my input in for one of the songs. It was really fun getting to go back and forth with Rob about it.  

I also got to ask Rob about how he’s time as a freelancer worked and how to handle going from one job to the next. Big thing is take care of yourself because radio is a business first. Ant the other was be transparent about what you want.

I had a blast the last three hours of my practicum. It was a music promo madness and it was a great way to end my last day. I got to do music promos with Rob and see how he’s created them in the past. We worked through one together and it came out really cool. I can’t wait to try and make a beat mix style id.  

Spots are airing?!

The third week of my practicum definitely has been different from the first two weeks. Part of that was the unexpected surprise of a minor health issue on Monday (dealt with and doing good now). I’m having so much fun with everything I’m doing.

I’ve done a bit of everything this week. Putting JUT80s together, cleaning up remote cut ins, and commercial spots. It’s everything that I want to do in radio.

Now that I only have a week left… and not even that because of Good Friday, I don’t want it to end. It’s been so much fun! Now if there were jobs in Alberta I could get I would be very happy indeed. Looking for work will be a process in and of itself but I know I can do it.

Now play us out to the weekend George Harrision

Week 3 Day 11, March 22, 2021

Today started not so great. A quick digital doctor visit and turns out I needed some antibiotics to deal with something and if it doesn’t look better in about 24/48 hours, off to urgent care with myself. Any who… I got the “remotes” ready to go for the FHHL that airs later this week. I didn’t get as many done as I wanted since I wasn’t feeling well, something that Rob reminded was okay. 

I did get so of the cut in done and got shown some tips for dealing with a file that’s about a sec too long. Enter the waveform editing. Something that I tried later and was the nice final touch to the piece. So the tip was using the stretch effect and speed it up only by a second using a bit of math to figure out the percentage needed. Looks like there is more math involved in radio then first thought. (Richard you big fibber!You said there was no Math 😛 ) Rob also showed me using the spline curve (a curve that rounds off audio, something I didn’t know) which was helpful editing in waveform.

Another I didn’t think of was to leave a bit of a tail at the end so a EOM can be place so not make the computer’s marker of the EOF glitch.  Something that I can take forward while loading files into the system at school.

Tomorrow I’ll hopefully feel better and get the rest of the cut ins done. (If not there is going to be a very interesting report about urgent care) Then it’s off onto the JUT80’s for next week.

Week 3 Day 12, March 23, 2021

Today was a finish and start day. I finished up the cut in and started the new round of jut80s.

I did learn a cool sound design technique with having one as normal voice with an echo and under that a delay track. It adds a cool shimmer. Learned this from a promo rob was making for something a bit later. Something else i got to see was the promo for the 20k contest today was really fun cause a clip from the question was about Rob threw in at the end and still bleeped the answer.  I learned how to do a bleep using the tone effect on a piece of audio.

It was a good watch day. Upside I’m feeling a bit better today over yesterday and that means my antibiotics are working (fingers crossed).

Week 3 Day 13, March 24, 2021

I get to be a fly on the wall come Monday for the jack production meeting! Networking and meeting past sait grads here I come!

I got to do another donut spot for Medicine Hat today. Never have I faced a popping s in a piece. Turns out eq can hide them to a degree. All I could hear in the back of my head while listening to the rare audio was Richard saying mic placement. I now know at least how to deal with cellphone(?) recorded audio. My new spot airs this Friday till the end of April.

Tomorrow is a free range day for me to finish JUT80s and then Rob sent me some listeners id’s to voice. They’re something fun the station runs.  Rob says to have fun, do them causal and if I want to make a character with it.

Something I learned about commercial s today while doing the spot today was don’t put any car/ambulance noises in pieces. It makes sense since people listen to the radio while they are in the car. And the last thing you want to do is panic people when they’re listening to your station.

Week 3 Day 14, March 25, 2021

JUT80s work day, hopefully I can get it all done today.

In our morning meeting talked about where I’m applying to, and the reality right now of radio jobs. Rob said I could send him my cover letter to go over for me. And he’s going to send me a few emails for folks he knows in Harvard and Patterson. Networking isn’t my strong suit but I think as long as I’m open and honest it will hopefully work out.

I’ve gotten a commercial I get to work on tomorrow once I finish JUT80s. That will be another thing I can put into my updated demo.

Rob had to freshen up a promo for the long weekend next week and had me sit in to watch it. All the elements and build up of momentum was really fun. There was a beginning middle and end that just kept it going. A cool think he did at the beginning to build it up was dropping the eq on the songs then having it back up to make a point/impact on the listener. Since Rob had to make one saying tomorrow, today, and all weekend he pointed out that it’s important to keep a listener informed even if you as the producer know what’s going on.

Week 3 Day 15, March 26, 2021

The morning marching orders were to finish up JUT80s which took me a bit longer then I would have liked but there were a few things I needed to fight with to get it sounding right.

Now onto that commercial for a rock station. It’s kinda funny that the bed is very rock to seeing as it’s a industry supply store. It’s a new voice so that means some tweaking to the presets 😊 This is gonna be fun.

The afternoon turned into a “Fun Trick Friday” of Audition. I filled three pages in my notebook.  We pretty much went down the list of plugins and Rob told and showed my all the ones he’s used and how they affect audio. I can’t wait to try them out this weekend. A

After that it’s back to working on the commercial. Turns out the vo is from out east so I got to hear my first different take on the works “line up of products”. I can say I haven’t heard it like that before and it was good exposure for me.

An entire hour of content?!

This week has been mind blowing! And I only have two more! Nooo. I’m enjoying this too much.

I got to take on my biggest and longest project yet. Putting together a show that runs five days for one hour on multiple stations is freaking awesome! It’s one giant vt session and I loved every minute of it. I got to connect with J whose in charge of it and I had a blasted. It pushed me to do better with my timing, learning to loop tracks better and the importance of normalizing a voice before I start playing with it. I can’t wait to do it again next week. A pretty awesome week for my birthday this year. Definitely an improvement to last year.

Week 2 Day 6, March 15, 2021

Finishing up the production of the social media ids today and then tomorrow I get to take on a massive project. I get to set up for next weeks midday 80’s show that runs for an hour. There will be music, voice, and the space for ads. I’ll mix it together and create a great project that gets to AIR!

I was able to used what I’ve learned more about eq and pulled the drums out of a bed. So the experiment worked out there. I ran into a bit of a creative block when it came to my PWWW ids today. I have something but I’m not happy with it. I did make Rob laugh a few times and he suggested me to create a scene with the stock market I found a bell and a background group sound to use and was able to create a scene. Reminds me of the sound effects story.

I didn’t even think of the fact that with the work I do on the ids I could put it on a demo to show off my work.

Update: I will be doing some huge voicetracking for a Jack show!!! I’m so freaking excited. It’s gonna take me at least two days I can’t wait. It’s gonna take a lot of work but it’s going to be a great experience.

Week 2 Day 7, March 16, 2021

Holy Cow tacos! I’m doing the midday hour show for all of next week!!! Yes it’s just putting the vt session together and making it sound awesome, I’m beyond happy that I’m being trusted with this. Like Rob says I’m doing it early enough in the week that there is room for it to be fixed if something doesn’t work.  Jay was really nice, he even did a video of how everything works set up wise for me to do the 1 hour vt.

I’m definitely getting how to used eq and compression drilled in with practice during this. Also the factor of taking time and making something sound right to air, along with hitting the audio post and making things sound good and loud enough. And triple checking work to make sure its good to load. Cause mistake in industry for a pre-recorded show can have serious consequence and can set back every station that uses it.

Also another skill I learned today when using a hard limiter on the master track, to prevent massive bricks pushing it to -1.8 isn’t too bad, better then -3.8.

There’s no way I’ll become a master but my base blocks for eq before compression is definitely growing.

One day down and 4 more to go in the Jack show. And Rob said I might be doing them for the remaining weeks which is pretty freaking awesome! He said even though it takes me more time then Jay I’m still helping as its something off their plate and they can focus on something else.

Week 2 Day 8, March 17, 2021

Back to JUT80s, some minor tweaks to the Monday show then I’m off to the races. I got to have a good chat about all the different parts of radio and how they all work together. And how I’ve got a producer vibe about me, and a poke at Richard and his story of how producers can turn into the stations therapist since they have a sound proof room and all.

I get to sit in on a creative meeting tomorrow for imaging. Scripting writing and going through jack ids. I can’t wait to sit in tomorrow.

Rob and I got talking a bit about jobs and how you shouldn’t put the needs of the station above your own. And that I can use Rob as a ref so yeah! Radio is fun but don’t forget that it is a business. Also apparently cbc likes hiring folks with any degrees and since I have one could be an option. It will be less fun but is good money. It got brought up since I was talking about odd fact that I do have a degree and got it before going into radio gave me the confidence I didn’t have coming out of high school.

I learned how to do a better loop edit and pacing the beats. And got to listen to Rob’s two station launch’s he’s created-> he says it will be the hardest work I will do. And will be super fun to work on.

I’m having fun and liking that fact doing the JUT80s is pushing me on keeping track and reviewing before submitting items.

Week 2 Day 9, March 18, 2021

The script meeting was so freaking fun! The laughters were so much fun. I loved getting to be part of it was really fun to. It was cool to have people play off your thought and turn into something Jack. It was really fun and the space was open to everyone. Everyone feed off each other and came up with some really cool revisions.

It was a fun exercise in revamping and editing imaging lines to suit a station better or just cut. I’m glad the other folks didn’t mind me speaking up now and then and some really liked my ideas.

Rob says we can do another session together just us since they are bi-weekly. He said it was a safe space and he was right.

When it comes to editing everyone runs a bit differently but we all get to the same spot at the end of it. Joking he said his way was the best. Today was a  good day for my practicum. Now onto my birthday dinner.

Something me and Rob talked about yesterday was that it took him a few months after he graduated to get a job. That does make me feel better because there are jobs out there yes but not as many as you would hope off the bat.

Week 2 Day 10  March 19, 2021

Getting to see a promo for later was pretty fun today. I got to see Rob thought process as he’s putting together his promo. It was under thirty seconds but because of how it was voiced the energy makes it feel like a 30 sec one. Pacing, having a beginning, middle and end in-between the donut can make a 20 feel like a 40 or a 45 feel like a 20.

The tip of looking away once you’re giving the piece a final run through is something that I do occasionally, and I want to try doing more often. To just get my ears listening casually and not trying to super focus. To just go with it. And it did help.

I finished up preshow that’s airing next week.  I can’t believe I got to produce Jack Up the 80s! I’m excited to have it air next week. Jay really liked it.  And I‘m going to be producing the following week too!

I might get the chance to voice one of the caller ids of the produced folks calling into Jack. They’re fun imagining that come up. Turns out Darrell has voiced a few in the past.

Oh what a Practicum it will be

March 8th 2021 marked the first day of my practicum at Jack with Imaging Producer Rob. I’ve been keeping a day to day journal which I’ll post at the end.

First a little update.

I’m in my second semester and doing everything from home because as of today it’s been a year since the Covid-19 pandemic was declared in March 2020. It’s been a year of adapting and finding a new rhythm to live life by. So far it seems to be working out for me. I just need to figure out that pesky sleep schedule a bit more and I’m gold.

Now back to my week in review.

It’s only been a week and the information download has begun. Working via remote is how everyone is working right now in industry and we’re making it work. I’m having a blast. I’ve already produced two pieces that have been either set to air or set to a client and found a new system when it comes to producing ids. Which is because of how Rob does his own promo set ups and the template he set me up with on Monday. That has been beyond helpful. Learning new systems and seeing how industry goes about it’s day to day has been very cool.

I can’t wait to see what next week will bring and I can’t wait to see where I grow in my production work. This month is going to be epic.

Now onto the daily journals:

Week 1 Day 1, March 8, 2021

I got my first template and was told have fun and just play around the with ids. Also I got access for shortbus – I can use stuff I make for my demo but not as a release as my own work for profit.  I had fun playing around with ids – it was nice to be able to play around and not have to worry about deadlines. Rob says we’ll have meetings every day in the morning and times will vary a bit because of his meetings.

I got to see pro tools in action and I hope I can replicate a bit with the version I downloaded on my desktop. I’ll probably download it on my laptop too. I had forgotten how much fun it can be just messing around with ids and music editing. I got to do variations of cold ids along with cold, sfx and music ids.

Getting some good feedback on one day from my played around with stuff was awesome. Considering this is the first time I’ve done ids since last semester I think they came out not too bad. Tomorrow I’m going to get a bed dropped to me and put it all together. 30 secs on time and no more here I come. I also got to see the other side of production, the data entry side, and how important it is.

Week 1 Day 2, March 9, 2021

I got to produce a spot today for the medicine hat station. It was definitely a new voice experience. I learned more of how eq works and the order of having effects does have an impact. EQ first then compression.


Getting to have that edit session with Rob to fix it was helpful and I got a good tip too about audio, “Like all great art, radio production is never finished. It’s just abandoned” -Rob Kealy. Having that quick turn around with editing was fun and getting to get feedback quick was nice too.

It’s just day two and I can’t wait to see what happens next. The spot I did might even get to air in medicine hat, which is freaking awesome!


Just having some basic stuff and reminders helped to. Like the built-in fades for going from one audio clip to the next. And not being afraid to use the time compressor to make the bed fit to :30 seconds. And not being afraid to leave in the voice gaps, to make it come across for more natural pauses.
I got to see what wide orbit looks like and learned a trick for getting split background music into one file.


Another trick I learned was the quick art of making a promo sound better using past tags of the same person to make the new one sound better, has that because it’s a commercial contest and is updated every day. I get to see more and more with pro tool’s. Hopefully I can get it working on one of my computer.

Week 1 Day 3, March 10, 2021


After seeing yesterday how Rob does his ids I was told today to play around more the PWWW ids. Also I found out my produced spot will be airing on Medicine Hat radio Jack 102.1 GAHH!!


I did come up on my first creative hurtle with coming up with new sound effects. I realized I’m not sure how to do it well without going overboard. The biggest thing is I’m learning right now and I need to remember that. This is the perfect time to make mistakes and learn. And from today I learned so much on making my “cold” id’s better. The main thing I have to remember is B.M.E Beginning middle and end. And having a sound effect at the beginning and end splits it from the music and makes it stand out. Which is what it’s supposed to do.

Getting a better run down of short bus was helpful. I now know how to make better use of it. It’s like learning the extra points of a program like word and being able to do 5x the number of things you could before. It will also push me more to include sound design in my work.


Week 1 Day 4, March 11, 2021

I realized last night that Rob always asks me what I’m doing after. It hit me that I think he might be making the point that I need to balance my time and take time for myself.

I got to work on a bigger project – social media ids!! It’s just cold voice for now but I’m very excited. It put into perspective why there is a producer just for imaging, commercial and promos(ish). Sure there is crossover to help each other but the amount of work if someone had to do everything would be mind breaking.

The big take away for me from the id project was if I want to do small edits to things I should do them before I copy everything over. It will save me time. If did however make the second listen through by myself a big more interesting. I’m glade I picked Rob’s brain about how to set it up because if I did then my session would have been a nightmare. Having just four roles plus markers is a lot easier to deal with they have 7 rows and trying to keep things all lined up. The template Rob sent me is really making life easy. He did also admit it was because he wanted to have a sound that was the same as the station.

The take away from when Rob heard the ids was making sure I let the ids breath to make it more conversational and to make an impact to let it breath. So that’s a job for tomorrow.


I ended up asking hot long his average days are and he said about 8 hrs. if a big thing is coming up like the flip that happened for Jill day and launching a new station like Medicine hat recently. Taking time for yourself to prevent burn out is important.

Week 1 Day 5, March 12, 2021

The day started with some self editing to add more pausing/space to the cold ids. And it does make them sound better. Like I talked with Rob yesterday, if there is going to be “dead space” it has to have a purpose. Once I get this cold Id’s bounced (exported) I’m going to start on find beds and start some sound design on them. I did poke Rob about his naming scheme because I know from experience having to re-name something multiple times can be a pain.

I got to do a spec spot – and learned what it was. A spec spot is what a station sends out to a company to show them what an ad with the station could look and sound like. Thanks to the other spot did earlier in the week I was able to make something pretty good.

Then I went back to exporting the cold social id’s. 55 ids later and I was done. Thankfully I figured out how to short key it out. Something else that Rob showed me when he showed his keyboard shortcuts. My experiment with producing the ids was a bit miss with the ending sound effects. The beds were good through. It helped me get out of my head when it came to picking beds. Next week we’re going to work on more weaving in of the beds and sound effects with sound design. It was a fun experiment and I learned something from it so that’s what matters.
I have gotten the official approval that anything I produce I can include on a demo. Whoot! I can’t wait for next week. I might be given the go ahead for a even bigger project that will be on air.

It’s been an Egg-citing Month

Oh, what a first half of April it’s been.

I’ve been talking care of myself by trying to stick to a schedule and I subscribed to #Text4Hope. They send out a text every day with either a tip or a link to something to help stay calm and keep going forward. It’s become something I look forward to reading each day.

Thankfully the last couple weeks of classes have smoothed out and yet ramped up in what’s been due for assignments.

I’ve learned the best places at home to record with my zoom and found a use of my music stand as a mic stand. Thankfully I have a bendy mini tripod that my zoom attaches to. It’s been tricky but I’ve recorded solid voicing that I am proud of.

I felt like I got over my head with a video I had to make for social media class. I got a Gundam beginner experience kit and decided to put it together for my video. It took me 25 minutes to build and over 2 days to edit the two camera angles and then put in my head talking square in the corners. I had to edit it done to a max of 2 minutes. It came out pretty well if I do say so. I forgot how long it takes to edit anything, especially a build. I had to speed it up over 400 percent. But it was a fun build and video to make. I’m glad I remember the basics I learned last semester in my video/audio class.

My other video – American Idle a Year Later for the character, Chick Pea the assistant chef, was thankfully easier to edit. That one was only a minute thirty. I shot from one angle in my kitchen with a bit of added background sound effects and some humor thrown in. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not sad about the fact that we weren’t able to perform the play live.  We had to adapt to the situation and this video assignment is a good way to find some closure about the play. It’s still not the same but what can we do in the end. The show must go on, even if its not the end that one everyone was expecting.

Easter was, well as Easter usually is at my place, chocolate and crème filled eggs.  I’m a bit bummed I didn’t take the time to dye a few eggs. Maybe next year I’ll give it a go. The eggiest thing I did was draw a few on my door the night before in the fogged glass while I let my dog out.

The last two weeks through have been something else. I’ve turned out two YouTube videos, did a cold read of “To Think I Saw It on Mulberry Street”, by Dr. Seuss, made my first production demo of all my work from this last semester and finished my ‘final’ blog post. I have plans to try and do more during the summer. We’ll see how that pans out.

The last month of classes isn’t how I thought it would be. It’s shown me that I do really want this and that as an individual I’ve learned and grown this past year in my radio program. I’m nervous but excited for what the fall will bring. I can’t wait till I can practice again on the sound board at school.  Hopefully the world will find its footing again and a “normal” life might again be possible.

March Madness: A Roller Coaster Ride

March has been a wild ride of highs and lows. Highs came from starting to collect pieces and parts for a costume I wanted to make for a show in April, having my third paint lesson, and celebrating my birthday.

The lows came in the new reality that is life staying at home and dealing with the COVID-19 virus, now pandemic. By the end of the second week of March we were told to stay home. That following Monday school was announced to be online to finish out the year and no one was allowed back on campus. The new normal is total self independent work without the ease of walking up to another person to brainstorm ideas. It’s tough but thankfully it’s easy to talk to everyone using the internet.

Another low was the cancellation of the class play everyone had been working their butts off to get ready for the April shows dates. Everyone worked hard to learn their lines and really get into their characters. A group favourite was Chief Chow, a Swedish chief with very odd recipes.

The one that hit hardest was Otafest, where I’m a staff volunteer, was postponed to 2021 because of the virus. That one struck hard because everyone there puts so much work into it and it sucks but safety has comes first. It didn’t help it was announced after my birthday. I care about this event. I know next year the team will knock the show out of the park.   Another event that’s been postponed to later in the summer is Calgary Expo. Everyone figured it was going to happen because of the current ban on public gatherings but until March 23 no one knew what was going to happen.              

But let’s talk about the positives that happened in March. I need to focus on those to remember that things can and will be okay eventually. I had my third lesson in learning technique for painting miniature figures and painted my largest mini to date, an owlbear, and put the finishing touches on my first painted mini soldier. That was a relaxing three hours that I’m holding onto now.

I finally built up the courage to start a cosplay for an amazing character for Calgary Expo. Even with the show postponed it just gives me more time to work on the cosplay and not be stressed out. Mollymauk is a dungeon and dragons character from Critical Role. It’s where a “bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons”.  He’s a out, proud, and loud purple horned circus man who wears a rainbow of colours.

I was able to get the tail made by the amazing cosplayer Mayxcosplay from the Netherlands.  I am beyond happy with it and can’t wait to (eventually) show it off. Sure, there are more pieces to get that will take time (international shipping) but it gives me something to think about once I’m done with schoolwork. When the curve goes flat I’ll be able to jump right back into ordering what I want for the costume.

With the good and the not great things happen there’s been the stabilizing force that’s been my instructors. They’ve been beyond amazing in figuring out how take over a month of classes and translate it into online learning. The amount of stress they must have been under to pull it off in only five days must have been insane. They pulled it off and now the rest of the semester doesn’t seem so impossible. Deadlines were moved and modified. VPN’s are being fixed so all programs needed for class are available. I never realized how much I would missed Audition after using it the last 5 months.

I’m not worried about the semester and getting ready for next year because I trust my instructors and I know they trust me. Besides its good practice if I ever have to do something like this once I’m in industry.

I’m doing my best to flatten the curve by not going anywhere that I don’t need to go, other than grocery shopping. March has been a roller-coaster but I’ve got the tools be to strapped in for the ride. Fingers crossed the ride smooths out come the end of April.

Toss a Coin to Your Radio Student, Oh Valley of Production

You never realize how much of yourself you put into a project until you’re finally done it. I was beyond exhausted with relief yesterday after I handed in my production work. I didn’t realize how much stress I’d put on myself and been under until I passed that USB drive with the finished content off to the P.A. (production assistant).

It was so worth it through. I really did have a blast creating those 6 station and music ids and 9 commercials. The coolest part for me is that this body of work is something I could show off as a marker of where I am currently and where I could go. It shows that I really do want to do well in radio. It shows how bad I want it. When I tallied up the hours it was about 35-40 hours I had put into this content. Industry wise that way too slow but as a student it shows that I care about the details and creating a good solid product.

One of my favourite parts was doing the ids. Even when I was having issues mixing the music to audio it was still fun. I think my favourite music id was either the CHR or Hot AC. Rock was its own beast. Which makes sense as its the second hardest music to mix. Alternative holding the number one spot. Mixing Panic at the Disco!’s “Say Amen”, with Imagine Dragons “Radioactive” and Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” was tricky. The end result however sounded pretty good.  

Now the commercials where a learning experience and a half. From giving my announcers encouragement and learning EQ, reverb, and compression my head was spinning at times. I’m lucky because I have multiple people I can go to for help if I don’t understand something. Sure, there’s always YouTube but there’s something about having a physical person in front of you. That teaching experience just sticks better for me. Which is what happened in my production meeting. Particularly the room hiss and how to bring it down. After that lesson I was almost in hysteria over any hiss in my audio recordings.

That hour and a half long production meeting was one of the best meetings I’ve had so far in radio. I’ve gotten to know more about what I don’t know, and where I need to improve. I learned that I do have a solid idea of what I’m going when it comes to music mixing. It was beyond heart warming when my instructor said I’m brave for being me. For being out and transitioning while going through school. That I’m learning from him as much as he’s learning from me.

Being in this program, it really has let me define who I want to be and what I want to do. I can’t wait to see where the rest of this semester will take me.

PS. Hopefully I will eventually get to that appreciation post about the Witcher out. My production work was something that I really wanted to share and gush about this time instead.

feeling blue

I thought for my first post it would be a fun upbeat thing. Talking about something I loved and getting the queer voice in it. But I felt how I was feeling today deserved more of a voice.

Today I’m feeling blue. Melancholy, sadness. There’s probably a million different labels for it but the one that defines them all… I’m just not feeling happy.

It’s okay to not be happy all the time. Everyone has a bad day. But when it happens on your way to class… well let’s say it sucks the fun out of class.

Hell, I almost want to snarl at my group mates and tell them to shove their happy perky attitude right up their. But I won’t. even with how I’m feeling. Lashing out at others just hurts in the end. Hell, there’s probably maybe 4 or 5 people I would even be truthful about how I’m feeling today. And that’s part of the whole feeling blue today.

I came to the decided yesterday while watch Hudson and Rex with my mom and dad that I was ready, that I wanted to start my hormone treatment. And then this morning the little facial hair I had already put me in a mood.

Then there’s the not great sleep since I was worried about my two assignments I submitted last night.  I’m scared that I didn’t do well, that I didn’t do enough. That I’m not enough. And that is my biggest fear I think right now at school. That I won’t be enough for anyone to want to take the chance on. That I’m too much to deal with. Who even wants a trans/non-binary first year who feels like they can’t do anything right and they’re nothing when compared to most people in class. 

Damn it. I know I’m not suppose to be so hard on myself, that I am good enough but its hard some days to remember that and today, right now is one of those days. God damn it I just want a hug from someone that actually gives two shits about me. Somebody that cares about more than just a surface we are in the same program level. But they don’t because I’m too scared to let them in.

Even through I came out to everyone the end of last semester I’m still scared of them. Enough though I know that its not the case. That there are those that respect me.

It’s just not a great time in my head right now. I almost wanted to hop on the train home today downtown and not come. But I care too damn much. And I know that its not a bad thing. I do want to succeed in this program. I want to succeed in radio. I’m just not sure I have the hope to do so. I’m scared that all my fears and anxiety and insecurity is just going to bite me and tear me apart.

I don’t want to be a failure to myself again. I want to be more than I am. I want to be happy with who I am and what I do. I don’t want to have to get anxious every month wondering if I can pay my bills that month. If I can do and do something fun with friends for my own mental health. I’m just so tired of being anxious.  I just want to feel that I am enough.

I really need more sleep if one night’s bad sleep causes me to pour everything out like this. Hopefully my next post won’t be so emotionally heavy.

January 27, 2020 10:19 am

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